Still wondering now.

For those of you who read this, which I have no way of really knowing because I have no hit trackers and despite several of you claiming to read this thing, very few leave me any comments, most of you are probably already aware of the reasoning for me posting the lyrics to “Say Goodbye”.

I made a mistake, frankly. I thought a very good friend of mine had feelings for me. I certainly had them for her. She didn’t feel the same way. And on top of that, she felt that she had become an obstacle between me and God healing my heart from Anne’s breakup with me. As such, she is no longer speaking to me.

It hurts bad enough that she’s probably right, but losing her friendship in the process makes it worse.

Thank God He was right there to catch me.

The question remains as always, though, “Now what?” I swear, if God will point me in the direction, I will run to it with unbounded enthusiasm. But then again, maybe that’s the problem. I want to DO something. I want to take charge.

What I need is to be led, daily. Because if I’m not, inevitably I WILL go off track.

So here I sit, waiting for it. That quiet voice I know so well, that I’m really freaking desperate to hear from again. All I can do in the meantime is try to enjoy life from the place I am in.

I think this is most introspective entry I’ve done in a long damn time. There’s only one thing that can cap off and entry on how the Bmatt is feeling.

Random. Thought. Blitz.

Fig Newtons, after all these years, are still freaking delicious.

This is a recent satellite photo taken at night over the Korean Peninsula. This is yet another result of North Korea’s oppresive and evil government.

I have a phone that can send and receive picture messages now. Send me some if you also posess said capabilities. They make me smile.

It’s Friday the 13th. I’m not really sure why we’re supposedly scared of something like that. It’s probably due to my abject hatred of horror movies.

I will never EVER be able to eat beef jerky (kind of like now) without thinking of Ben Walz and his beef jerky song. The sad part is, I can’t even remember how it goes.

If you haven’t poked a Chris today, what ARE you waiting for?

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    • Anonymous
    • October 20th, 2006

    {{{Hugs}}}}}

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